It takes very little for mood swings...Sometimes it can be the onstart of cycles and flow, sometimes it can be the hormones, sometimes it can be PMS or MS too...
Yesterday's driving took a big toll on my mind. IT just keeps haunting. CAnt seem to forget the mistakes I made and the petrification I felt.
Compounded by the fact that he didnt even call to check up on me. I know, I know, he was real busy and he has the inaguration on 14th and he works at 45 Degrees Celsius and that he is stressed. Still, still how could anyone forget someone they love? When they know, the other person is an emotional and sensitive wreck. And the roads, so dangerous? If I were him and he me, would I have forgotten. I WOULDNT have! I know that for a fact.
Plus, I went and read all my diaries of 2001 to 2004 yesterday evening. How naive I was! ANd how naive I am still! I see the same emotions echoed then, just that then it was the cd release, that was the excuse for the emotional wringers. Now, his office, his RE project at home is the time drainer.
What can be summed is that, at any point of time, there will be something for him, that keeps him occupied or rather preoccupied. Which means family, children, all take a back seat!
If then, he pet and pampered me like a fragile doll, now he pets his babies. Which again implies that as time goes by, there will be more important things to him, than his babies.
Am I married to a flitter? A person who passes through life, always looking for other things, always making excuses for a real emotional commitment, siting reasons of hope and money in a distant future? A person who doesnt value the here and now, who doesnt enjoy what he has for NOW.
IF money and projects was his only aim in life, then why the hell did he get married? Whats the point in draining other people's life? To eyewash a larger public? To satisfy his parents? WTF!
O, woe be me,
misery here I am all thine...
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